Well, I see Blogger finally made good on its threats to switch to a new format, and I am still figuring it all out. Serves me right for not posting in such a long time. Seeing as my younger son, "Middle," is out on his first date, and I'm waiting up for him, I've got a while to noodle around with the new format.
Our older son, "Big," turned 20 this past week. 20. 20! And, the younger, as I mentioned, is on his first date tonight, which happens to be prom.
And suddenly, I am 108 years old. Really. How does this happen? Of course, when I am in my rational mind, I realize that I have acknowledged for quite some time that I am getting older. A few gray hairs were the harbingers of my transformation. Suddenly (okay, more like insidiously), my chin is lower, my reading glasses are never farther than arms' length away, and people seem to mumble more than they used to. Well, so what? Didn't I just say that I knew I was getting older? Here's the deal, though, it's one thing to know it and quite another to see it.
I remember the first time I heard that a child I once babysat was getting married. I was probably 25 at the time. Click went my brain: I'm getting older. Time is passing. Soon, I had my own children sleeping through the night, walking, making sentences, kicking balls, working on science projects, studying for AP courses, filling out college applications. Click.Click.Click. Now, I'm the one giving encouraging smiles when I see young mothers struggling to get chubby toddler legs through the openings on the child seat in the grocery cart. A few days ago I was in Target, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd been asked if we could go to the toy department--just to look, Mama. For a minute or two, my throat hurt hard and my eyes filled, not with regret but with such. deep. longing.
And now, the younger son, a sophomore in high school taking a junior to prom. Prom!
What a huge event that has become! Nowadays, Prom begins with "the ask" sometimes months ahead of time. Then, there are pictures beforehand, dinner at a restaurant or club, a rented bus to the prom site, a rented bus to an amusement center for the "after Prom" and then back to the club and to homes for "after after" parties.
Really, I can't even think what it will be like when it's Little's turn. Thankfully, that's years away. Click. Years and years. Click.
So, I'm up late tonight. The one who gave me most of my laugh lines has already turned in and is softly snoring.
Me? I'll stay up a while later. I need to figure out how the new Blogger works. And, maybe my throat hurts a little.
Besides, it's raining here.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am He, I am He who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.